How terrible am I - A fall

How Terrible

I don't know how terrible am I.

but not as terrible as those people who don't appreciate and never say 'thank you'.
Well, yea I read 3 chapters of The Book of Tomorrow.
That's what on my mind now. Rich people has their way of living, their way of speaking, thinking, and even the worst part - acting.

I don't know how terrible am I.
Reading the beginning of the story, I felt I am living a life full of happiness which I never really realise what was it.
Is not like I am going to realise until someone just left me, someone important in my life left me.
No. I need to stand up.

I don't know how terrible am I.
The point is.
I feel like sticking a note on my door writing " Do not OPEN the door "
or else
" Do not disturb , I need some air " - locking self in a room do not have air -.-
.. or like this
" Sorry I shut the door and the key is with me, Do no TRY to dash inside or kick the door. Put the shirts outside I'll do the laundry.. "

I don't know how terrible am I
Well well, my point is.
Leave.Me.Alone.

This is how terrible I felt I am now.
Confine myself in my room. Maybe 'confine' is not a nice word to describe.

Friends told me this.
" Do you ever think that you're actually keeping a distance with everyone? Like you never want to walk our from a box. You don't wanna try or accept the facts and the reality coming to you. " - what's the suitable word? start with an "I" vowel.

I don't want to eat dinner, I don't feel like having it.
I am terrible.
Seriously I want to say this to myself, fuck my life.

Someone just give me a big fall.
falling from a cliff would be good , but i dun wanna be Bella and expecting Edward would come back. No.
I just a need a fall. Hell ya, Love is not a thing for me now.

but how about Love of God?
I need to go church.

FML

ISOLATION - that's the word.

for now I don't think crying is a way.
it's lame
it's stupid

a fall.

Either you could say I am lazy
or I am just not the type of explaining.
Well I just don't like to explain

For now.
I hate answering.
I hate explaining.

Deep down inside of me , inferiority is growing.
Subconsciously , I wanna fight with it.
Superficially , I am just like what I am now. An emo freak.

People would fed up with this.
So do I.
You see, how terrible am I.

Always
favorite sad song ever