Silence of Tears

Sometimes I just need somebody to listen to my story
But it turns out our conversation only about college and a club we running.

Tears are for the moment of silence during a simple meal
no words was mentioned.
No topic
No eye contact

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The only thing to keep this going
is your morning greeting with soft tones
let me still believe everything can be fix
only time matters.

不是坚强了

有很多感触
有很多伤感
只是不知道要怎么表达
甚至没有倾诉的对象

长大后才发现啊
太多的自由让大家失去了相处的时候

现实的态度
让彼此失去了友善的沟通

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那么近却那么远

只想简单的说句  母亲节快乐
却失败了.

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如果我哪一天心态不对了
原谅我
我只是个天真的孩子
渴望着一些爱

别觉得努力和辛苦的一切不值得
你们还是很棒的爸爸妈妈

Simply and happier life

Do you remember how you said people get easily satisfied with their life even with low income?
You said they have less expectation and to pursue a better job.

But do you know, how is the simple and happy life they actually living in?
Yea. Happiness.

I don't have a reason to jealous because I am lucky to have my own room, my own vehicle to drive around, and dealing stuff on my own. Sound pretty lucky huh?
I don't have to live outside but to stay with my parents even though my college is so far away like 40++km back and forth.
You see, that's how lucky I am. I really don't have a reason to jealous.

Guess what, I do. I do feel everything I have is suppose to be appreciated.
But how can I convince myself, when every member of this family, settle things on our own, without sharing.
No communication, no discussion.
You see how lucky I am to have parents to love me and work so hard to earn for us.

How? How to change all these? If, we aren't always going for a greater life?
If we aren't so self-center and thought living in a better house would be a thing to proud of.

No one would say money is enough.
But if that's the reason changed a life, what should you blame on?

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I don't wanna runaway from everything I have
But I want to rely on my own, and stop living in a life I am not happy with.
I want a change.

I don't wanna care any shit of what you guys doing with your life.
Either it is harmful or harmless to the family.
As long as you love each other in a simple way, that's all enough.

Continue to keep your secret, cause I don't want to know the ugly truth.

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So yes, I am jealous.
I rather stay at someone else home and enjoy their family time,
than staying alone at home.

I would stop crying from any issue related to family.
Cause I am on my own, and I will always be.

Stay Strong.

I wonder if you read
or you don't even remember i have a blog
or you don't care at all.

I apologise for all my assumption on you.
And all the Illusion I have on my own, and then blame it on you.

But I am just expecting to have more you put on others, that you will put on me.
That's all.

Is fine, u say we see each other like all day long
and is really a less min u spend with other.
Then i screw thing up by a sentence u talk to other and argument comes up blababla.

It doesn't matter how long you spend with one person
or one minute you spent with the person.
It matter is how you communicate with the person even just for a second, a minute, an hour.

Things screw up.

The 4 months break.
I wish us goodluck.
Cause I will try to care not shit about approaching you anymore.
Cause I live on my own, my pride, my selfishness.

I don't know if you notice
is like you don't see things as a matter.


the only way to make myself feel better
is not to think about it
cause when it hurt
there will be only tears.

be strong

be bold

things apart

just let it go

The Truth. You and Me

One more truth to know.
One more.

Whether all of this fall apart because of a misunderstanding.

I had a dream
A dream of you and me.

You were surprise to see me
I forgive our past, and embrace you.

That sound so not right in real.
Is weird.

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People comes and go
they stay in your life for a period time
and somehow affect you a little.

When they walk away
either their obligation is accomplished
or you no longer need them like you did before.

I can't really feel anything special when I look at your picture
until
I had this dream. You and Me.

I don't know who you are officially.
Not to say really know your personality.

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I wonder if you still need one more friend in your future?

or I should step away. Keep what is it now.

the more I think.
I think I just don't have the courage.
And I still don't know how would you think of me, again.

Is a misunderstand. Maybe it is a misunderstanding issue.

I just defending for myself, of how I felt innocent of what happen at the moment when everything shattered.
That I was confuse of what you said.

Those words.
If you still remember what you said.
I wonder why.

I apologise If I did something wrong hurt you and your friend
or even not to take care of myself.

But everyone has a life to go with.  And I am fine here.
I be more aware than before.

And thank you for being somewhere with me.
Still caring for me.